Anyone have these days?
Seriously though. There has to be more to it than this. We work to live and we live to work. This has never been enough for me. It doesn’t give me my purpose nor my meaning. I love my job. Don’t get me wrong. I am one of the lucky ones. I get to plan trips for others which is just as enticing as planning my own. I get to do it from home where I can look after our kids. That’s priceless to me.
But I need something else. I need a why. So I travel. Each trip gives me my daily why. Something to be excited for. But when I come back, I’m left wondering what I’m doing wrong. I’ve accomplished some fairly large goals with my business the past couple years. I’ve been on some amazing trips. But have I REALLY propelled my entire life forward? Not even close.
Routine has never been my favorite. Weird for an anxiety sufferer, I know. The way I look at it, if I know what to expect, then there is time to get anxious about it. When I’m abroad, the schedule is up to me. Well, for the most part. I can get up when I want. I can choose where I want to go. And what I want to do that day. Even though it’s entirely unfamiliar to me, there is no anxiety as I don’t know what I’m going to be seeing. You can’t fear what you don’t even know is going to happen. That took me years to learn.
I don’t tend to plan an itinerary for most of my trips. I like the idea of not being tied down to a schedule like we see ourselves doing so often in our daily lives. I do like to make notes of certain things I would like to see but never do I plan the exact time or day if it’s not absolutely necessary.
I love the unknown. I love the freedom of controlling my life in a place where nobody is around to judge. Now if only I could incorporate this into my daily life. What a wonderful world it would be. ❤