My Instant Gratification

I used to be that girl. I loved shoes and clothes, make-up and funky hairstyles. I loved new vehicles. Anything that involved a retail transaction. It made me happy. So I thought. It made me happy in the short term. Instant gratification I guess.

Now before I purchase anything, I ask myself ‘where could you go with this?’. Now this may range from a night at hotel to a road trip to Banff to somewhere international. But with this mindset, I have changed the entire way I think of retail merchandise. Clothes are no longer that important to me. A new vehicle? What’s wrong with the one we have? New shoes? My feet aren’t changing size at all anytime soon. I get my hair done once or twice a year. Only because I do feel I deserve to feel somewhat like something other than a mom. I spend money on my kids. That’s a no-brainer. I don’t hesitate to buy them what they need and even more often then not, stuff they don’t need. I guess in reality I’m still getting my retail therapy. Just not when it comes to my needs.

But our needs change. I need to go away sometimes. I need to be in a place that has no resemblance to where I dwell so I can recharge my batteries. My thoughts and my brain crave that kinda of ignorance. And yes, ignorance in my case is total bliss.

I don’t fear what the day will bring. As I don’t know. It’s exciting though. Not knowing what your day is going to be like, but knowing by the end of it, you will be a different person because of it. Your mind will be expanded. You will have earned a lifetime of moments, memories and probably some very cool photos. My photos of my trips are something very precious to me. But even taking photos is something I’m beginning to ease up on. I feel we spend too much time looking through a lens instead of actually living in that moment. Take it in. Look around. Just stop for a minute!

One of my favorite things in a foreign destination is simply watching. The view from a traveler, into a world that is somebody else’s daily routine is amazing. I look at the way they walk. The way people interact with each other. The hustle and bustle in downtown Manhattan is something I could have watched all day. But seeing someone else’s norm makes me grateful at times for my routine life at home. Let’s be real. For someone with anxiety, how would you even function on a daily basis in an environment with SO many people around you at all times? That seems impossible to me but I enjoy the view from afar.

And just like that. Something as simple as watching a group of strangers getting off the subway and making their way to work in what seems like a fairytale city to most….becomes one of those retail therapy moments. Instant gratification. Knowing that where I’m going back home to isn’t like that at all even though some days it feels crazy.

I’m inspired to keep on finding those moments. Just like that one. That’s one of many I have. I can’t wait to add more to my ‘collection’. ❤

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